wow if i’m already going on a tangent then i will also say this. there’s lots of criticism towards (male-attracted, female) fans for feeling romantic ownership over their male idols in some way but no one ever really questions the responsibility of the industry and the system in this parasocial relationship. it’s always the fans’ PERSONAL, individual fault for feeling romantic attraction towards their idols to the point of getting jealous envisioning them or actually seeing them with a girlfriend… and while yes it’s inappropriate to communicate this to an idol in a way that undermines their autonomy (ppl attacking idols, idols’ partners/speculated partners, etc) you have to wonder why such a large amount of fans feel this way in the first place. you have to wonder why the kpop industry sets such strict dating bans or forces their idols to keep their dating extremely private. you have to wonder why idols do so much fanservice, say things like “i miss you,” “i love you,” and engage in boyfriend roleplay. you have to wonder why companies spend so much effort filming content showcasing the idols’ personalities, styling them, beautifying them, making them look like perfect romantic products available to project ur every fantasy upon! the industry profits off of female romantic interest!! (and also queerbaiting coin but that’s another post…) they have designed the entire system around making these men seem like ideal romantic partners so you fall in love with them and ultimately give them ur coin at the end of the day, whether it be thru attention or actual paid money. so like.. of course girls are gonna feel attracted to them, going to feel some type of ownership over them bc they’ve developed this parasocial relationship where they know a shit ton about their fav idol–his personality, his interests, his quirks, the location of every mole on his body!!! and to ridicule these girls for feeling romantic attraction and being deluded feeds into the misogynistic trope sayin that fangirls are all crazy and hysterical… like DAMN if u didnt want us to envision ourselves dating them then why do you always ask them “who would you date if you were a girl” or “which member would you want your sister to date” ?? why do you make them seem romantically unavailable to real people in order to please the fans?? hm.. hm.
